d-day + 221 ✯ voice & spam

[withtheoldbreed]

[Spam for Snafu]

[Gene steps out of the Enclosure feeling unclean, like he needs to lock himself in the bathroom and shower for weeks to get the grime of that place off him. That's actually what he does first, retreating to his room so he can scrub his skin raw and collapse into a bed that's more comfortable than he's used to these days.

It's not until the next morning that he heads back to Snafu's room with an obvious tired slump to his shoulders. He'd slept, but doesn't really feel rested even if he doesn't remember if he'd dreamed at all. He has no idea what things were like for everyone else who wasn't trapped in the Enclosure, but the last time he'd been separated from the people left on board, they'd been killed over and over again by the invading demons, or creatures, or whatever they were. It's enough to make him a little worried about what he's going to find when he opens the door and steps inside, looking for his friend.]

[Private to Jimmy, backdated]

[After he's slept, the first thing he does is check in on Jimmy, even if at first, he's not really sure what to say.

(There's something in him that sort of wants to say nothing at all for a while longer, but it's very easy to set that hollow ache aside to focus on making sure Jimmy's not hurting, too.)]

You okay?

[Public, Voice]

I'm helpin' Pounce out with the library. Meant to say somethin' earlier, but, [You can almost hear the small grimace.

He winds up leaving it at that, because it's not like anyone really requires any explanation for what he's been up to.]

If anyone needs me, I'll be doin' some reshelving.

[Open Spam]

[And that's exactly what he does. Most of the rest of his day is spent in the library, reshelving books and just kind of losing himself in the stacks. It's usually quiet in here, and there's enough to keep him busy that he can more or less focus on the task at hand instead of getting caught up in his own head.

More or less.

At some point, he does retreat to a corner and pull out the by now slightly battered notebook Steve got him for Christmas, writing deliberately on the lined pages, like it's taking effort to put the words down where someone else could read it.

Eventually though, he does have to leave, and he can be found in the dining hall picking at the food on his plate with a lot less interest and enthusiasm than usual, or out on deck smoking and - literally - staring off into space. He lingers around the door of the chapel, but hesitates instead of going in. He hasn't felt comfortable stepping inside since what happened to Dillon in there.]

Comments

spam

[withtheoldbreed]

[Gene's just sitting on his cot with his elbows on his knees, waiting for him. Snaf's out - Gene had likely been invited to come with, but declined - and the room's quiet. Part of him misses the sound of the busy camp that's supposed to be right outside the shack.]

Hey.

spam

[thelastbullet]

[He sits down on Snafu's cot, rests his elbows on his knees and looks at him.]

Who were you with?

spam

[withtheoldbreed]

T'Pol. [And he's quiet long enough to make it seem like maybe that's all he's going to say.]

It was her memory.

[thelastbullet]

[He only just met T'Pol, the other day in the kitchens. She'd seemed taciturn, at best, and he has no idea what kind of memories she'd produce.]

You wanna tell me what happened? [It's said with the implication that 'no' is a perfectly reasonable answer.]

[withtheoldbreed]

[Gene rubs a hand over his mouth, struggling with what to say and how to say it. When he does find the words, they come out quiet.]

I had to stand there and watch her crew mates beat her to death. [He sounds ashamed. He still can't believe he just stood there and watched, even if he had to. Even if she'd basically told him to do it.] It was the only way we could get back here.

[thelastbullet]

[There's a difference between beating someone to death, and watching someone else be beaten to death. The latter doesn't have the same haze of anger, the violence spurring you on so that you don't notice what's going on until it's done.

It's horrific to have to watch it happen, and he lowers his eyes in sympathy.] Why did they do it?

[withtheoldbreed]

She's an alien, [Except that's not the only reason, but Gene knows how little T'Pol trusts or likes humans, and why she feels like that. Knows it even more intimately now.]

And she was tryin' to overthrow 'em. They deserved it, too.

[There's no question of that. The humans in her world are awful.]

I tried stoppin' it, but no matter what we did, we just had to restart all over again. Couldn't change history.

[thelastbullet]

It can't ever be a memory of a cheerful day, eating ice cream and goin' to the pictures, huh?

[It's a gentle joke, meant to put Gene at ease, make him smile a little.]

[withtheoldbreed]

[It doesn't quite get him to smile, but something relaxes in his posture or expression just a little bit, just a gentle loosening of the tension in some of his muscles.]

Guess not.