withtheoldbreed | Entries tagged with snaf is the atheist in gene's foxhole

( spam for snafu, message for jimmy )

[Public, Voice]

I'm helpin' Pounce out with the library. Meant to say somethin' earlier, but, [You can almost hear the small grimace.

He winds up leaving it at that, because it's not like anyone really requires any explanation for what he's been up to.]

If anyone needs me, I'll be doin' some reshelving.

[Open Spam]

[And that's exactly what he does. Most of the rest of his day is spent in the library, reshelving books and just kind of losing himself in the stacks. It's usually quiet in here, and there's enough to keep him busy that he can more or less focus on the task at hand instead of getting caught up in his own head.

More or less.

At some point, he does retreat to a corner and pull out the by now slightly battered notebook Steve got him for Christmas, writing deliberately on the lined pages, like it's taking effort to put the words down where someone else could read it.

Eventually though, he does have to leave, and he can be found in the dining hall picking at the food on his plate with a lot less interest and enthusiasm than usual, or out on deck smoking and - literally - staring off into space. He lingers around the door of the chapel, but hesitates instead of going in. He hasn't felt comfortable stepping inside since what happened to Dillon in there.]

[Public, backdated to after the events of this post]

[Gene sounds - and is - mad. Mad as hell, to be totally honest, but also just really fucking disappointed and frustrated, because:]

Jimmy shot Omar Little earlier. Is there anyone fillin' in as a warden for him until he gets assigned someone permanent? And can someone bring him back if no one's done it already?

[He's already got ideas on how to punish Jimmy (even if it feels fucking weird to need to think about that, both because he doubts there's much he can really do to make the guy regret what he did and because it's just strange to have this kind of authority over someone who feels more like a friend than a responsibility sometimes), but there's something else he wants to be focused on first, because he's pretty sure Jimmy didn't just grab one of Omar's guns and shoot him.]

Who the hell gave him access to a weapon and didn't think I might wanna know about it?

[Filtered to Kitchen Wardens]

I want Jimmy on dish washing and clean up duty for all three shifts until further notice.

[Spam for Snafu]

[It's a day or so later that something in him kind of snaps. Not badly, it's not like he's gone full on Asiatic or anything, but Gene's been antsy and irritable all day, mad at Jimmy and annoyed at himself for not feeling more confident in his ability to actually make a goddamn difference at all here, and he'd slept badly the night before - or perhaps more accurately, he'd slept worse than usual, thrashing and crying out, fighting off phantoms from an island he hasn't been on for the better part of a year, one he'd only been on for a couple weeks and still ripped him up inside. How pathetic is that, feeling so fucked up and confused and directionless, all over something that was really only a few days in hell?

So he goes about the day chain smoking and keeping mostly to himself, hiding away in the library and avoiding lingering in the mess hall until he finally can't take it anymore and heads back to his friend's cabin.

This feels like something that's been building for a long time, in a lot of ways. The thing with Jimmy and whatever asshole decided to get him a gun just makes it worse. Something about the Barge suddenly feels too small, too cramped, and he finds himself handing Snafu his filthy, battered Bible almost without thinking about it, thrusting it in his friend's face as he meets Gene's intense look with one of confusion.]

Read it. [It comes out sort of sounding like a plea more than a demand or a question, but he still manages to be polite, even when he's feeling kind of off balance and strangely desperate.] Please.

[He bites his lip, embarrassed and almost surprised to find the skin's smooth and unbroken, not chapped and dry.]

I just need someone to look at it.

[It's like a nervous double check, craving some kind of deeper understanding even though obviously he knows that Snaf was there and saw what he saw. Sometimes he wonders if his friend's easy acceptance of his own death means maybe he hadn't, and maybe Gene just wants him to see it differently, maybe he just needs him to see that this wasn't something you can shrug off. Maybe he wants to know how he can, because everything feels sharp and brittle in him today and he's sick of it.

He doesn't know.]

[Open Spam, throughout Port]

[Gene doesn't regret joining the Marines - God help him, it's true - but there's no doubt that the Army, Air Force and Navy guys over in Europe have the better deal when it comes to leave. There's no Paris or Rome to liberate in the Pacific, no London to be shipped back to for R&R, just the shitty shacks and tents on Pavuvu, overrun with land crabs and rats and still reeking of rotting coconuts.

So the idea of actually getting to explore the city - especially now that there's no war on, no Nazis running the place or snipers to look out for - is kind of neat, even if Gene's not so sure it's enough to really make up for the ship seeming like it was falling apart. Or the last port.

But he still hits the town - in civvies, probably for the first time since getting on board the ship - and does his best to enjoy himself. He doesn't speak French well enough to really communicate with anyone, but Snafu does, and they're so used to being in each other's company that it just makes sense to team up anyway... even if Snaf nearly gets them kicked out of at least one museum.

Because Gene's that kind of tourist - he gets up as close as people are still allowed to be to the Eiffel Tower and goes to the Arc de Triomphe, visits the Louvre and eats at some of the more modestly priced restaurants, walks along the Seine and finds himself oddly drawn to war memorials and places he recognizes from pictures when the city had fallen to the Nazis.

He can also be found in book shops and staring with mild confusion at the Apple Store. This Paris is very different from the one he imagines his brother had seen. Everyone's on their phones and looks different from what he's used to, and it's not bad, but he feels out of place. He has no idea with how Steve coped with waking up seventy or so years in the future, because even just this is very, very eerie.]

[Spam for Snafu]

[With Mickey's threat of breaking his teeth if he tells anyone about what just happened ringing in his ears, Gene walks back to Snaf's cabin still very, very confused about everything that happened. He's thought it over, and he still doesn't really understand how things got confused. What the hell had he said that explicitly implied to Mickey that he wanted to sleep with him? And while he's kind of bothered by what happened, it's not really as bad as it could have been. It's not like he feels violated or filthy or anything, just... genuinely really confused. And maybe kind of worried for Mickey's sake, even if he's not sure the guy would appreciate it.

(Pretty sure he wouldn't, actually, and he's not sure if this means they weren't friends at all or aren't now or whatever, but fuck, he's just so caught off guard by all this.)

So he's ready to just lie down and smoke through an entire pack of cigarettes and try not to think too much about Mickey trying to get his fucking belt off him and clarifying that they weren't going to be making out first, Christ, but there's the problem of getting in without waking Snaf up. He's been on the other side of this more than once, with Snafu wandering back into the room bragging about the night he just spent with Mira, but he's not all that sure he wants to explain where he was to his buddy for reasons that go way beyond Mickey's threat. He just doesn't know how to explain it, or what to think about it, and seriously, he just wants to not to think about it.

At least he manages to get the door open without making too much noise, but the lights in the hall are brighter than the cabin is, so hopefully he'll make it without bothering him.

Of course, considering how light a sleeper his friend is, it's very likely this isn't going to work.]

There anything that still needs cleanin' up, after all that? [A beat.] Or just a department or somethin' that's a little understaffed?

[Not that he's qualified to do most of the things here, besides work in the library, but...]

I'm still not used to havin' this much free time on my hands. Never thought I'd miss the idea of havin' KP duty. [And he's going stir crazy.

Maybe he should ask Jimmy if he's learned anything worth sharing cooking wise.]

[Open Spam]

[It's strange how quickly things go back to normal, here. A couple days ago, everyone was worried about a murderer being on the loose, and now things are calm again. Gene sits out on deck smoking at all hours, mostly at ease, even if he still has his sidearm and KA-BAR on him at all times, and startles whenever someone sneaks up on him.

At reasonable hours when he's feeling kind of bored and restless, he pops in the infirmary to check on anyone who's still stuck in there, specifically keeping an eye out for friends or just saying hi to Merlin.

He still looks tired more often than he doesn't, but eating regular meals in the mess hall has definitely helped him gain the weight he'd lost on Peleliu back, so overall he looks healthier, less starved. He's taken to running in the Enclosure - still in his uniform, still with his weapons, including his carbine slung over his shoulders from time to time - to try and keep in shape, and if you happen to come in when he's picked the setting, you're likely to be transported to some thick, mostly deciduous forest that's either hot and humid or cool and damp.

(Honestly, it's usually more cool. Even the familiar heat from back home feels too suffocating most of the time, now.)

And of course there's the library and common rooms, where he's either got his nose deep in a book about birds or the (American) Civil War, or scribbling away in the notebook Steve got him for Christmas, brow furrowed in concentration.

(One old haunt he avoids entirely is the chapel. He's not sure if anyone's cleaned up after what happened, but he doesn't want to spend time around a place where a friend got killed. Especially since he hasn't come back yet.)]

[Spam for Snafu]

[One of the first things he winds up doing, though, isn't hitting the library or poking his head in the infirmary. He's in the mess getting breakfast (he's been up since four, but had at least tried to sleep in until six or so), loading his tray with coffee and fresh fruit and water, and spots Snafu sitting by himself, working his way through his own plate of food. They've been kind of avoiding each other since Dillon ripped whatever it was out of the other marine, which is just getting ridiculous at this point. It's been a couple days, so Snaf's had more than enough time to lick his wounds in private, and Gene's pretty certain all that stuff he'd said had been the spirit, not Snafu.

(Pretty certain, even if he still wonders what kernels of truth might have been in his behavior and their last actual conversation.)

So Gene finishes gathering his breakfast and doesn't waste any time debating where he's going to sit: he just walks over and puts down his tray across from Snafu, sitting down before he has a chance to protest. He stabs his fork into a piece of cantaloupe and looks up at his friend like nothing weird had happened before.]

How's your shoulder?

[Friends Filter - one friendly conversation rule applies!]

[Gene's so far from being an expert about stuff like this that he feels like an idiot for even beginning to hypothesize why things are heading the way they are, but after talking to Merlin, and all the murders, and how weird and off certain people have felt...

Anyway, he'd rather know a little more about who's been changed by it and who hasn't. Whatever it is. Maybe it's just people being strange.]

Anyone been noticing they're feelin' weird since we got back from port? Or seen anyone else been actin' kinda strange?

[Asiatic, he'd almost want to say, like being here for too long is making people depressed and angry and different, but it's not exactly the same. People got like that in the islands when they'd just been away from home and decent food for too long.]

[Private to Snafu]

[And on a completely unrelated note:] I was gonna run by the mess, you want anything?

[It's relatively early in the morning when Sledge clicks on his video feed, and he looks tired, maybe even exhausted. It's also obvious he's not in his own cabin - the room behind him looks more like a shack, and although it might not be as clear, he's sitting on the floor, half leaning against the legs of a cot. One of Snafu's arms is visible, hanging limply off the side of the cot like he's just asleep.]

... Snafu's in a coma. [The word sits uncomfortably in his mouth, and it kind of shows in his face. He's read about barge comas obviously, thanks to Chromie's welcome packet, but it's one thing to read about it, another to try shaking your buddy awake and not be able to, no matter how hard you try.

He takes a breath and steels himself, trying to push it back and get what needs to get done, done.

(Except his eyes still look pretty dead, but that's not really anything new.)]

I'm gonna need a hand getting him to the infirmary.

[Private to Kieren]

I thought it'd be better than just leavin' him here. [It's what the pamphlet suggested, anyway, and he sort of feels more comfortable leaving his friend with people who can monitor him and make sure he doesn't get worse (if that's even possible?), but he still sounds uncertain. Like maybe this - making decisions about his friend's well being - is overstepping.

Which is weird to think about someone you've pretty much been physically stuck with for over a month, but here we are.]

[There's no question that Sledge isn't the same bright eyed, excited little kid he was doing the flood anymore. Even as he smiles, there's something kind of missing in his expression, genuine as it is.

(He's really starting to understand just how much of that kid died on Peleliu.)]

I just wanted to say thanks to those of you who kept an eye on the rest of us. [The smile turns a little wry, and there's a spark of something that might be life back in his eyes.] Guess there could be worse first floods.

[He says this in a way that both makes it clear that he's keeping this light and fun, and that he knows that's true. Especially considering his actual first flood had him thinking he was back on that fucking island, and he'd practically tried to choke Mickey trying to get his (toy) gun away from him.

There's a short pause, and he lets out a short breath of laughter.]

This really is the most snow I've ever seen in one place. Didn't even cross my mind that Christmas'd cause this much of a fuss around here.

[Private to Jimmy]

Thanks for lookin' out for me. [If Gene hadn't been eager to try and find a way to help Jimmy before - and he had been - this had been a pretty clear indicator that his inmate isn't actually as bad a guy as one might assume just from looking at a list of the stuff he's done.

That said, Gene still feels kind of way in over his head.]

I've got the stuff I said I'd ask the Admiral for, and I washed the stuff you lent me. Where d'you want me to drop 'em off?

[Private to Steve]

Sorry for getting you sick, sir.

[It's pretty obvious he does actually feel guilty about this, and might have hesitated to say anything about it at all.]

[Spam for Snafu]

[Back in a clean uniform with his .45 on his hip and his new Unit 3 pouches crisscrossed over his shoulders, Gene leaves his room with the stack of clean clothes he'd requested from the Admiral and his KA-BAR, heading straight for Snafu's room.

The door looks familiar, even if the context doesn't make a hell of a lot of sense to him. He'd kind of just assumed Snaf would be stuck with his bedroom from back home, although he's got less than no idea of what that would actually look like, or mean. He knows home means somewhere in Louisiana for his friend, but Snaf never talks about it the same way Bill might mention New York or Burgie Texas.

Anyway, Gene knocks on the door, not sure if he's feeling self conscious or just still trying to get his bearings back after the flood. The extra weight of the medical gear kind of helps, and it doesn't, because he's not a corpsman and he's not trying to be and it's not the familiar weight of a mortar base plate or sight, but it's something.]

[Private Gift List to the Admiral]

( gifts for snaf, jimmy, isaac, steve, scott, cassel, keiren, ian, t'pol and dillon )

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E. B. Sledge

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Entries tagged with snaf is the atheist in gene's foxhole

d-day + 221 ✯ voice & spam

d-day + 199 ✯ voice & spam

d-day + 187 through 193 ✯ spam

d-day + 174 ✯ spam

d-day + 148 ✯ voice + spam

d-day + 127 ✯ video

d-day + 52 ✯ video

d-day + 26 ✯ video, spam & text